A Glass Jar Filled With Violence

My mother opened the oven (it's broken but is always generating some small amount of heat) to put away a pan since we've been using it as a storage for pots and pans. She saw that I had kept a glass container with thick napkins and seeds in it along with miniature plant pots made of foil and dirt in the oven. She asked me what it was and I told her why I was doing that. She told me it was dry and said I don't know how to take care of anything. My insides felt like they've exploded, I'm not sure if she's right or not, but I've been taking very good care of my plants.

I was looking for an empty container for the watermelon that has sprouted itself to the top of the oven, I've only been gone for two days and I left with it showing no signs of growth under the napkins. My mother went into the downstairs restroom and I sank to the cold ground and just sat there trying to decide whether or not to throw everything in sight. I got up and punched the wall. I didn't want to make another hole so I punched it open handed. She always knows the right things to say to make me want smash my head open and pull my brain apart with the remaining moments of my life. I think I screamed, I don't remember. I walked upstairs and opened and closed the plastic drawers I've left at the top of the stairs. OPEN. CLOSE. OPEN. CLOSE. I did it fast and hard because if I didn't I would have made a mess that I wouldn't want to clean up later.

Footsteps, my mother was walking toward the stairs. I got up from the darkness and walked zombified into my sister's room. I sat cross legged on my bed made of blankets. I felt my mother come up from behind me. Did I tell you my family has the ability to appear from out of nowhere? She didn't say anything for a moment, then asked me if I fell or what was all that noise? I told her no, I didn't fall, I just got angry, that's all. She asked me why I was angry. I was incapable of speech at this time, so I just shook my head at her. She asked me again and again and told me how would she know what she did wrong if I didn't tell her. She shook me. I told her it was a little thing, and I didn't know why I got angry about something like that. She pulled me to my feet and accepted that I wasn't going to tell her. She said, okay, then leave it in the past, it's over. She hugged me and I cried.