Agoraphobia

BPD has been like a little demon trying to get my attention since Sunday. Little noises, little imperfections of persons, fidgets and speech gets twisted to something horrible through the bpd. I have overcome bpd two years ago. It still lingers like this, but it's not as professional and has just become an annoyance.

I've experienced agoraphobia for the first time since JobCorp. It was right after Tommy and I went out of the bookstore and into the food halls. Yes, halls, they were set up like a super-mini shopping town, except with restaurants. High-schoolers, college students and people that will be quickly forgotten infested the area. First half round of searching for an appealing place to feed our organs was okay, looking back now, I realize that I began to walk faster and tossed my hair to cover the side of my face of where people were at (if I can't see them, they can't see me, right?). Second go, high schoolers and college parasites infected that part of the area. I walked even faster, hair toss became a failure, I started the process of hyperventilation. A high-school boy saw me, turned all the way around in his seat to watch me, goddammit he turned to watch, and doing that made his fellow worms turn with him and watch me. I hit the roof and started hyperventalting. Tommy caught this and we quickly ran out of the horror house before I started screaming words I didn't know.

And now, story time with me: