Bloodchoke

I was standing in line that stretched far to get to the movies. The ticket guy came over and strangled me. He somehow held the temples of my head at the same time. I don't remember why I didn't do anything. The manager came sometime almost too late. The ticket guy went away. The manager took a look at me. He said something about if I was bleeding or not. I waited. I felt something in my thoart. Something, thick, slimy and hard at the same time. I opened my mouth and blood dripped to the floor. The manager said something, I think he cursed. He turned toward the ticket guy who sat on a curb with his back facing us and said he had to go to death class. I saw something pink comming out of my mouth. Some piece of me. The piece was still attached inside my body so I couldn't just hauk it out. More blood, comming out faster, dripping all over the floors. The manager held me upside-down and I hung in the air, hovering a yard or two above the crowd and the manager. Blood dripping from my mouth onto the ground.

Dead or Alive

I checked my pulse to see if I was still alive.

Nothing.

Just warmth to confuse me that I could be warm without a pulse or dead with physical warmth.

The Executor Kills His Own God

I had a vicious and vivid dream about an executor being forced to kill his own god. He was being forced to do this by a group of men who crowded him in a small room under the main building. It was grimy. This took place when it was custom to wear hats. There were no fancy clothing so it was probably early 1900's. The executor tied the hands of his god, his wrists bled.

"I'm sorry," The executor cried to his god.

His god nodded.

"I'm sorry too," His god smiled sadly at him.

Possession

3:00AM
I heard it... I heard the music that all the great composers heard in their minds and dreams. It was amazing and I never wanted it to stop and there was no end to it. It began without a beginning, it was like the beginning was invisible. I could focus in on any part and that layer of the music would come clearly into focus. There were so many layers, not overwhelming, but there was enough that... Well, that's why orchestras can be so vast. I was just in my room, just enjoying myself, being peaceful because I didn't realize I had projected because I usually always end up in some demented place when I project. I didn't realize I was projecting until I heard the music. I wasn't sitting, I wasn't standing either, I was laying down, just right above my body, hovering. Which is highly usually for me, I'm usually formless and hovering ungracefully somewhere or I am in my human form (typically with clothes on).

Astral projection... Something was at my feet, hovering. When I took notice and gave it more attention by trying to see what it looked like and it's size and shape, it gained weight very quickly and pushed down at my feet, making me immobile. I knew it was a man, I saw faint shapes and shadows that made up a head and shoulders, but that's it, the rest is dark shadows and invisible. I tried to wake myself up, it quickly took over my legs and stomach and pushed my chest down. I came out... But... I was already projecting...

I carried a my black messenger bag. (it was a fusion of my swiss army medical bag -for look- and my camera bag -for space-). I snuck through a building through a horribly small window that was only big enough for my head and shoulders to squeeze through. Somehow I managed (I've been going through tons of windows this year). From entering that window, there was two feet gap to another window that was similar to the one I just opened. Below was the floor, there was some really expensive rug down there. I was very high up, about five business building levels up. I got what I needed from inside the building and went back to the window. My bag was too filled so I had to create enough room to squeeze it through the window. I took out a book and placed it at the little space it had behind the window which had a little space (about two and a half inches to put the spine in place without it flipping and falling to the floor below). I was going to take out more stuff but realized that I didn't need to, I closed up the bag and was going to go through, but someone was coming. I causally walked to the restroom because it was the closet room to me that people wouldn't be suspicious that I had entered. The restroom had three windows (two feet wide, one feet in height). One across from the other and another on the same wall as the door but opposite side. I took the chance to use the toliet. While I was using it a white rat that looks like Ritzu, but a smarter, more graceful rat with survival skills (or tricks) came through the window before the toilet. This window was covered with some piece of white painted wood and thick and thin wires came through it so there is no opening for the window except if you can squeeze through a two inch tight space. I watched it. It was coming my way and I slowly got off the toilet and moved out of the way. I moved slowly because I didn't want to scare it because I was curious to see what it was doing and where it was going to go. It squeaked and made a leap. It jumped on some thick wires that hung midway between the floor and ceiling. It made it's way to the other window and knocked over the fan that was at the window. Michael Myers stood at a truck, his back facing me. Yes, he's erotic as hell, but if he'll kill me. I turned and quickly opened the third window opposite of the door and pushed myself out. I knew that when he turns around, he is going to notice the open window and he'll be after me. He'll figure out where I am, I know it. I don't have time to cover up right now, I need more distance. I came to a house, a little black girl was walking toward the open front door, I took over the girl's body. I didn't fly in, I don't know how to explain how I did it, but it made perfect sense [it still does to me now]. I made her ask her father who sat on the couch not far from the door.

"Daddy, can we go somewhere?"
"Where do you wanna go?"
"I don't know, somewhere?"
"Just wanna ride around huh?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, but no messing around, okay?"
"Okay."

I posessed her body so I could escape without being seen. I didn't have to control what she said word for word because it wasn't needed. I knew that I could if I wanted to. When she spoke to her father, I was this formless, invisible ghost, for lack of a better term, that watched from the side. Then I woke up. Exactly 8:00AM.

8:00AM
I laid there recollecting the dreams as quickly and thoroughly as I could, then I rolled over and wrote with great speed what I could remember before I forgot.

[Day #11]

I was forced to do porno. The man who was forcing me to do this was also the camera man and the one who I had to do it with. He was over ten feet tall. I was picked up by my legs, hung upside-down and brought into a different room. Naked and being recorded for the public. I was starting to lose myself. I started to forget who I was. Brainwashed. My memory was losing. Upside-down six feet off the floor with something wet on my face.

A hitman, short cut salt and pepper hair, tight black shirt, dark blue jeans, he sat behind a wooden desk. There were other people in the room but I don't remember them. I held his handmade black cross bow that would tear you into ribbons if you accidentally scrape yourself on it. I made a deal with him.

Poison. I was poisoned. Blood dripped from my nose to the mask I had worn. Typically, I never have blood in my dreams, there has been scattered body parts, organs, but never blood. The giant smoothly turned into Albert over the time. My head was pounding, my brain was swelling. I crawled to the nearest person and suffocated the bastard. I strangled to death and hit everyone in the room and they didn't come near me. I didn't hit Albert though, as much as I hated him, I left him alone. I wiped the blood from my nose and walked out of the building. My sister was curled into a ball face down on the grass just outside the building. Surrounded by sticky notes that had been scattered across the grass, I had written explaining to her to get help because this and this person were doing this so this would happen. A very short man in a green trench coat and a dark blue hat stood with his two muscle men, pointing and gaping at my sister. I ran over to her and we both took off running.

I ended up in a car, my sister and I sat in the backseat, three other men were shouting at each other about how I have to get to the hospital right now. I think my head was going to explode.

My neck is strained in all directions. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move. At least I got some sleep tonight, even though it is freezing cold.

Mark and I went to go get breakfast at the fancy restaurant the train had. We sat with Scott and his friend. I didn't finish my expensive bacon so Scott asked for it. He looks like the exact replica of Corey Taylor, the only difference is that the anatomy was a little off, he was skinny and his voice. Other than that they were exactly the same, even they way he acts. Nails were the same shape, face was similar but his was rougher. He gave me the impression that he's been in a lot of fights. He dresses professionally, but I see through all of it. I left a tip of two bucks for my ten dollar meal. Usually I don't tip more than a dollar because I have a secret hatred for waiters and waitresses, mainly waitresses.

Expensive bacon. My heart chakra didn't want it. It held the thing in place and threaten to choke me. It took a good minute for it to go down. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

The meditations have regain my abilities to recall my dreams.

Azura, the guy with the dreadlocks, got off in Sacramento. Mark was out there saying goodbye to him. Laziness held me from going out to say my goodbyes to him too. As everyone re-boarded the train, Azura took out his camera phone and recorded the train leaving, he waved at us and the train, he smiled the whole damn time. My insides were cramping up. Damn him.

I'm in Emeryville now. I have to take another train to get to San Jose. I am feeling like how I was before I left for Chicago. It is hard to be pleasant. I snapped at a man, I didn't mean to, it just happened. Claustrophobic. Easily annoyed, easily irritated, fatigue with an undertone of depression.

I'm in San Jose. It's dark outside. There's a pole that's talking, alarming people to be on guard. My head is heavy from the headache.

[Day #10]

It's 6:00AM. It's snowing outside, it's cold inside, I think I had only a few minutes of sleep.

A man held a glass bottle of olive oil in one hand and a cup in the other. Another man, hair short, grey and white. He wore a leather jacket. This leather jacket man came up to the glass bottle man and shoved a knife into him in a simple emotionless stab. This replayed itself, but with emotion. The leather jacket man held the glass bottle man close, in a hug, it was intimate, as if they had been very close friends since kids, the leather man stabbed him, quick and clean.

Another dream, a man with short grey hair walked into our car with a lit cigar, he stood right next to the no smoking sign talking to someone. He smoked, either he was completely unaware or he pretended not to.

I think I'm sick. My throat is swelling.

My thoughts have settled from the week of ecstasy with Lionel. My emotions are settling back to themselves. I am no longer sociable. I am no longer "gleeful" as Lionel had called it, it sounded so insulting when he said it. I am once again tired, bitterness sets in. My back aches. My neck hurts.

It's so cold out nothing is moving.

I went out to smoke in the snow by myself. It wasn't as cold as I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be freezing, and I'm wearing fishnet stockings. Mark came out in his gym clothes he has been wearing since yesterday and asked for a puff of mine. The snow was so soft my boots instantly sunk in a couple inches. The air was so fresh it was unreal.

Pulsing, thudding, hot, heavy, pounding, unbearable, monstrous headache.

The silence is kicking in, I am becoming unsociable.

I've just finished meditating on my chakras. I took my time. The headache is gone.

I went down to the snack bar and bought myself a pizza and a coffee. Mark sat with me even though he wasn't going to have anything until later in the evening.

A Field of Spider Webs

Last night before I went to sleep. I spoke to my sister about how I wasn't going to back out of the decision I've made to go to Chicago. It's expensive, I could use the money to get a car, food and things I need. But I've already spoken to Lionel about it, and I would hate to pull a California move on him and make up some excuse of why I'm not going or tell him I've changed my mind. I'm going. I said I was and I am.

My sister asked me why I was going. I told her, "To keep my sanity"

"What's that?"

"I don't know"

I am going to buy the ticket this week. That way, I can't talk myself out of it.

I spent the night trying to force the thoughts of hideous gore out of my head, thinking about all of the worst case scenarios that could happen on the train and with Lionel, will the train go a different direction and take everyone on the train as hostages? Will we have to cross a narrow-bridge and possible run off a railings and into the ocean? How will I get out? Will the water electrocute me? Would Lionel even show up? Will I get shot the moment I step off the train for being Asian? Are there going to be any other Asians or will I have to suffer being the freak there? For sure we'll go walking through some park, what if I fall into a trap and get taken by aliens? What if Lionel falls into a trap and gets abducted by aliens? What do I do then?! How will I explain it to the town, his dad and sister? How bad of nightmares will I get sleeping there. Is Lionel a deep sleeper? Will he be able to wake me up? His dad is territorial about people washing the dishes, so I wonder if he would get angry if I used a pan to make eggs in the morning. Will I have to go buy cereal and live off that for the week?

Dream Entry:

I knew it. Another toilet dream. I've had a toilet dream everynight this week. This time it was in a porta potty.

The exit of the porta potty was covered in one big spider web. Two more big webs were just outside the door at a different angle. When I got passed that, there was a whole field I had to get through. Black widows and spiderwebs everywhere. It was set up like in those movies where a secret agent ha to go through complicated lasers that crossed over each other. I had to get through the webs by squeezing myself carefully through spaces between webs or between a web and a tree or wall. A few times I touched it and it hung on, but luckily there was no window. Another time I took a whole web with me but there was no widow. The widows weren't black though... They were different shades of grey, like as if they had dusty webs spun around them.

Zombified and Empty

I don't know how long it's been since I've gotten sick.

It started out with just a swelling in my throat, next day it got worse, the day after there was a lot of pressure in my head, so much it was hard to think clearly, I also had a fever. Today my nose is running and getting stuffed at the same time, pressure in my head was immense, as if my skull shrunk and was threatening to get smaller and crush my brain. My head spun. I took some Theraflu for Sinus and Cold, it relieved the pressure.

It's hard to feel any emotion. At this point in time, I'm trying to motivate and inspire myself to write, because I really want to write! But I am empty.

I feel zombified. Something eager me to do some form of exercise. So I did. I did a combination of push-ups, downward dogs, and cobras. That cleared up my sinuses in about twenty seconds. I kept at it and did jumping jacks and football lunges. I felt pretty good. My blood was hot and rushed beneath my skin. But I still couldn't feel enough emotion to write.

My obsession with serial killers and fleshy white masks led me to have a dream about Corey Taylor in his new mask. We were at a red brick wall and the sky was black. That's all I remember.

The Universe vs The End

Day of Mercury, Wanning Moon

I was in the room with my sister and mother. It was nighttime. We were living at my cousins in that small room. The planets and the sky moved quickly to the left, like as if the universe was getting sucked up by something on the east side. I saw all of the planets close up, the colors were very vivid, they were so close you could take a plane to get to one! They all rushed, Earth rushed in that direction too.

We all watched it happen from the window. I was suddenly lucid because it was just all too much. I wrote on the window sill "REALITY" and repeated these words:

"Reality is dream
Awake is just a place to think"

I repeated them as quickly as possible so they would burn into my memory when I awake.

___

Kevin and I haven't had a dream we could remember since the 13th of March, Day of Sun, First Quarter.

There was fire and then an earthquake -Dream Entry-

A group of black gangsters were walking toward the church for a fight with another group. It was late in the evening, the sky was not completely dark yet. They walked with a dance beat and while showing off some moves, they got lit on fire but they didn't know they were on fire. The church got caught in flames. I told the preist the church was on fire. He ignored me. I repeated myself a few more times, getting more impatient and louder. I pointed and shouted, "the church is on fire!" He looked up from his desk and went to go see. He saw and it and told everyone.

I was in the bathroom washing my hands and looking into the mirror. The bathroom was tiled in a light aqua blue color. A girl with medium length brown hair opened the bathroom door, looked at me, came in and closed the door. She knew I wouldn't have mind if she did her business with me in reaching distance of her. I haven't seen her around before. She wore eyeliner and was one of those weirdos girls that no one else likes and I get along with. We had a conversation of some sort, but I don't remember what it was about. An earthquake struck. The black toliet detached itself from the wall. The wall of where the mirror, sink and toliet was cracked, the toliet side of the wall was sunked into the floor.

A Hostile Race -Dream Entry-

I haven't dreamed in what feels like months. But last night, while trying to figure out how to clean my new hemp ropes, I gave up, dry sticky and stinky hemp and laundry soap drying on my hands as I sat on the black leather couch, unmoving. I was trying to figure what reason I had to do this, work, right, (I'm a shibari artist, screenwriter, photographer), work for money, money to live and buy impulsive/unnecessary things, live so I don't disappoint other people that I gave up on living because I would be selfish if I just chose to die. Anyway, if I was going to mope around and think about death, I should do it when I'm alone somewhere, not when I'm at someone else's house. So I had to cut the fantasy short and not act like a lame douche. What triggered the dream to be intense enough for me to remember was the emotion I had before I fell asleep.

A dentist was cleaning my teeth with a ball-point pen. Everytime he scraped at my teeth, the ink would come on and he would have to wipe it away with that dentist napkin.

A mexican cathedral. I've gone up to the top a few times, where the bells would usually be at but there were no bells, just a lot of gargoyles everywhere. The final time I've gone up there, I felt the entities of the other realms move about, hostile, irritated and passively-violent until a breaking point (a reflection of myself). I was racing against time and I had to get into the church before the entire outside fills with these beings that are even more physical and violent. I moved gargoyles that surrounded an area shaped into a box, it was suppose to lead into the church by stairs. I stepped into that "box" but the enity, a young boy that was that "box" area didn't let me in. so I was stuck, racing against time and trying to convince this entity to let me in. He said he wasn't allowed to let anything in, meaning, any of the bad guys out here. But whoever gave him those orders was too vauge and it didn't allow access of ANYONE and ANYTHING. I felt like I could have twisted things and made it work. I was running out of time. I ran off the church building top.

-Dream Entry-

I coughed up a two-by-one inch block-ish green and yellow mucus a few minutes ago.

{I fell asleep at Danial's after I had eight ounces of a Sour Apple Smirnoff, a few wings, and smoked something called Pyro. I don't know what is in it, I did my best to find out, no information is found, but I smoked it anyway because I craved a new perception.}

I was in my house with my sister. Zombies were at the door, clawing, breaking the window of the door and reaching in to grab at me and the doorknob that was on the right side of the door.

My sister stood on my right, both of us standing a few feet away from the door, just watching. I was lucid a few quick scattered moments here. It was nerve racking watching them try to break in. My sister kept violently hitting them away when they got too close.

There's not much we can do except stand here and hit them, hoping they would eventually go away.

Rob Zombie was wandering outside. We were waiting for him.

I got onto the mattress that was strangely in the living room between the two couches that sat accross from each other. I stripped. I didn't just take it off, I stripped, as if hypnoitized. Everything was hazy. I rolled onto my stomach, bringing my knees up to my elbows, the side of my face pressed against the mattress. There was something behind me, watching. I saw through its' eyes, hazy. Things were moving in rythmic motion, but I couldn't see who or what it was.

I have projected out and into my house and I'm screwing a demon/entity of some sort. Great.

I was suddenly very VERY lucid, I had projected out so hard I thought I was awake and was at home in the morning with my sister and she was getting ready for school. I looked around to check, to make sure I wasn't still projecting or dreamming. The seven in the morning light shined through the doors and windows. The walls were solid, my chair at the dinning table didn't have my jacket because I was wearing it, my notebooks, pencils and laptop were on the chair were I had left them. The doorknob was on the left, blinds awkwardly angled like how they are. The mattress was not there. Everything was in place. I, she, and everything felt very grounded. Even more grounded than when I walk around in my physical body.

My sister went over to the sink in the kitchen, she came from the downstairs bathroom. I remember her. She's not my sister, but she shares the body with my sister. I'm not sure who she is, but I've met her many times before, she is rude but she is good. I think she noticed me notice her because she looked at me like I had just woken up, like, hello-sleepy-head kind of look.

"I'm lucid". I told her.

She said something and smiled at me, then went back into the bathroom. At this moment, I forgot I was projecting. I had to use the bathroom. I had to use it since I went over to Danial's. I went into the bathroom and started emptying my bowls. In the middle of it I was lucid again. I took notice that I was using the damn toliet and I've never had emptied my bowls in my dreams before. I had hoped I wasn't urninating on Danial's bed. I told her about the mattress, the demon and the zombies. She knew what I was talking about, she was conscious for that and she remembers. Crazy. I asked her what it meant. She had explained it all to me, BUT I FREAKING FORGOT!!!

Later, I was constantly was moving in and out of lucidity throughout this part, in the morning in my dream/projection, my "sister" and I were in a restaurant on top of a mountain somewhere. It was nice and sunny outside. I only see that kind of sunlight when I'm far away from the city, usually at sunrise. Sunrises like this are my favorite, they make me feel alive and happy.

My sister and I sat at a table of the right of the restaurant, we had window seat. We were having a very funny conversation. A waiter came, we asked for more time, he said he'll come back later. I looked accross the table to my "sister", Takumi was her name. We were talking about the zombies and Rob Zombie. It was a very pleasant conversation. I grinned and asked her if she would "help me", I raised my eyebrows at her and gave her a sneaky look. She said, "Yes, of course". But she didn't catch onto the dirty thing I was thinking about. I thought she was able to read my mind, but apparently she can't. She had agreed to help me with something else. What I was asking for was to screw Rob Zombie. Yeah. That's dirty in many ways.

Suddenly I wasn't very lucid, it's hard to explain, I know Takumi is there, but at the same time I'm not lucid enough to know that I am projecting/dreamming. I told her I was going to order some coffee. She said okay and I went up to the cash register to the waiter that had come by earlier. I asked for an ice coffee. The waiter was being stubborn about giving me that order. He gave me some bullshit. I had argued. I think he was thinking I was too young to have coffee. I went back to the table and told Takumi he didn't want to give me it. We had another enlightening conversation that I had forgot. Then the waiter came with menus, Takumi ordered a glass of orange juice, I had again, tried to order a coffee. He told me he doesn't have enough, I was shot with a visual image of a coffee cup being 1/4 full. He then asked me if I still wanted anyway. I said yes. The top of his face got filled with condensed milk and was filling up the rest of his face. Like filling up a jar of honey. He left to go get it. I thought it was weird, but being partly lucid, I shrugged it off.

I don't know why I wanted the coffee so badly, like as if my life depended on it. Normally, I would have just said okay and get something else.


-                                                                                                                                                                  -
I've been lucid dreamming everynight for two or three weeks, the problem is remembering them. Usually an alarm clock screams at me and all I can think about when I wake up is violently throwing the alarm clock across the room.

At the beginning of the two/three weeks of lucid dreamming, it started out with me being lucid for only a moment, then I slowly started to get more time for being lucid, now it's 1/4 of the dream. Hoopla! Hopefully it'll keep extending.

The End of the World. -Dream Entry-

There were stone mountains that stretched up high. An ocean was below the mountain. These areas were surrounded by a few hundred people. I entered the darkness of the cave in the mountains, I didn't get far until an earthquake struck. Everyone ran out of the cave and down the sharp slope of the mountain. I got down a few, jumping off two, landing awkwardly and painfully, but the third slope, people were climbing up the ladder that led downwards. Many people fell off the ladder and landed on the ground, immobile. It was a far fall, if you had counted it would have been over seven seconds. The people that were trying to get down were trying to get away from the earthquake, the people that were climbing up were trying to get away from the tsunami. I was trying to get down for fear of the mountain abruptly collapsing, but there was only one ladder and people were always in the way. After a few attempts of trying, I moved back and watched the water quickly rise to my level. People held onto things to keep them afloat, others swam. I was lucky and grabbed a hold of a plastic box cover. The people that went down the mountain must have drowned. The people that were being held afloat were being toppled over by the push of the waves.

I can't remember what happened next, but after I was walking through the empty streets and this guy called at me from inside a building. (I didn't remember him at the time, but when I woke up and thought about why he looked so familiar, it was because he was a character in my Midnight Rush story, Kaine) I went over and he quickly moved me ahead of him to run with the others in the back of the building that looked like an engine room of a ship. I found a gun while running through many engine rooms of buildings. It was dark out now and we were about to cross a block to get to another building, but the military soldiers came out of the building dressed for combat and guns in their arms. They were here to rid of survivors. We backed up into a innocent looking building nearby and blocked the door. It was very dark. We searched the area with guns and flashlights, it was clear. The building we had entered had only one door. Everyone took a spot in the room to rest. I was sitting on a dirty couch with Kaine. He had the spot next to the window he left slightly open to listen for sounds. It was getting a little lighter outside. Kaine told me he is going to go get some things. Him and two other guys went out. I assumed he was going to check the town for some food. I closed the window and locked it. I went to the door he left slightly open and checked if anyone was keeping watch. Yup. There was this guy that looked exactly like Fester from the Adam's Family except fatter, tanner and more hunched over. He was sitting guard with a little boy that was probably thirty. I left the door where it was and walked back to the couch, keeping watch of the room and the door. It wasn't that I didn't trust those people, I didn't trust the room to hold itself if the soldiers planted bombs anywhere nearby.

I woke up knowing that Kaine was a vampire. (In my story he's shape-shifts into a wolf. There are no vampires in Midnight Rush.)

I Dream of Fluoride and Preservatives

Yesterday night, I had a dream about being in a dark tunnel that had murky looking water, there were a lot of people there, that's all I can remember from that. I woke up multiple times to find myself almost smacking into the wall.
Then I was in the JobCorp cafeteria getting dinner, I went to find a table, at the table there were two guys I knew sitting there (Antony and some other guy... Rudy? I don't remember), when I sat down, another guy I didn't know sat down, then Albert came and sat down at one end of the table to my right, and a girl I didn't know sat down at the other end. I asked a question I needed an answer to, and they all shouted out numbers that were wrong, as they were shouting them out, I figured out the answer to the question myself, and I told them I have already figured it out, the girl at the end said some odd number, and then Albert on the other end looked at her with interested and he said an odd number that's higher than that, then she looked at him with interested and said an odd number, I kept repeating to them that I have already figured it out and they were wrong, but they ignored me, and kept at it, they even got out of their seat to look at each other because they were so damn interested. I was annoyed that they were ignoring me, I was annoyed that Albert was ignoring me because he would never be rude, I was more annoyed that they were wrong and thought they were right and were interested in each other because they both thought they were right. I woke up already halfway punching upwards in the air, stopped myself and fell back asleep. I got up to get some honey for my coffee-chocolate drink. Honey, because I apparently, needed my drink to be sweeter than it already was.
There was this unnecessarily large counter for the sauces, sugar, salt, and all of that good stuff in the middle of the cafeteria. I looked around for the honey and they were out. But something did catch my eye. There was this new invention of instant tea that came in like those jelly/syrup packets you would find at Denny's, they came like that because the instant tea was in concentrated liquid form. There was only five or six of those instant teas left, so I took three. On the packaging, the ingredients and warning/notice stood out and took up most of it. It said something about if you use fluoride water with the tea, it is not the company's fault that there is fluoride in your tea. There's another ingredient, I don't remember what it is, but I know it is a preservative of some sort.

Missing -Dream Entry-

Monday November 15, 2010
8:00 AM - 1:30PM

There is a closet in my mother's bedroom. She hates it when I go into her room. But I went in there anyway, to get into her closet. Why? I can't remember. Maybe I didn't have a reason.

The bedroom was strangely square. But I was more focused on what was in the closet than how her bedroom. The closet looked like a larger verison of the one my father has in his bedroom. It was dark, (I always hated my father's closet, but I liked that rush of fear, and I always wanted to test how much I can take) I went in there.

On the floor there is an opening, and a ladder that leads downwards. I don't know how far down it goes, it's just deep enough that if you dropped a rock, you won't hear it drop for... Gee, I don't know, I never tested it. It's just deep, okay?

Climbing off the ladder on first floor (first floor down anyway), it was dark, but I could still see, objects were illuminated in a blue-grey shade. I went off to the other ladder, oh yeah, my sister is with me. We climbed down a few more levels and ...

I can't remember...

I think there was a face I didn't want to see again. But I did. I craved it.

I hurried my sister up the later. We got out of the closet and out of the room.

........... I can't remember this part either.....

My mother went into the closet and I went in to go find her because she was taking too long.

I was a few levels down. Looking around, listening to sounds that might tell me where my mother is. She is really far down, because I don't hear any sounds. A brush of hair, cold and silky. I remember that feeling. I remember that smell. I turned around and I wanted to scream. I stood looking at him. That plastic grin he wears is there. Never changing. I wanted to touch him.. I backed up... I backed all the way up. As I climbed the ladders, he rose, floating, like the demon he is, behind me. He didn't touch me, which is suprising. But that intoxicating smell of his was brainwashing me. I could not turn around and give in to him. I was fighting the urge so hard I didn't even notice he moved to another side. I stopped at the first floor and turned around. He stood on the fifth floor (maybe lower) and he looked up at me. Someone else was standing on his right, I can't see who it is, but whoever it is, he's taller than "him".

He rose, lifting quickly off the floor. His robe is suddenly off. He wore nothing but his black pants and black boots. Usually, I don't give a damn about how bodies look, but seeing him within arm's reach like that, seeing those familiar shapes, was killing me. I was haivng trouble breathing and thinking because I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. Everything was so clear, my dreams are more vivid than when I am awake, but he was even more vivid. It was suffocating looking at him in general, but looking at him this close was killing me, it was like fighting with someone in the deep end of the pool. I wanted to at least get a few inches closer. I should not. I didn't. I turned around and climbed up the ladder and woke up.

When I woke up, I stilled smelled him, it was thick in my blankets and on me. Or maybe it was on me and it got onto my blankets.

I did not sleep with my guardians, that may have given him the ability to get into my dreams.

2010 July 13 Tuesday -Dream Entry-

Time of Rest: 4:00PM - 9:00PM


I had to get out. They have captured me and I am a lab rat, the future would only end in death for me here.
They took my clothes. I have nothing.
I'm not sure how I ended up sneaking into a scientist's private room, but I was there and I was naked. There was a desk on the wall that had the door. Papers, lab objects and boxes crowded the small room.
I searched for a heater or A/C vent that I could crawl through. Yes! I found one. But I would not able to dissemble the damn device so I could get through, and if I had anything to smash it with, smashing would be pointless.
I heard the scientist comming back. I believe he had left to go talk to someone in another room. I didn't have enough time to escape. If I did, he would see me and they would get me before I would even be able to get across a few rooms. I hopped off table and rushed to find some place to hide. Nowhere. There is not even a box I could hide behind. I found a pair of lab goggles and quickly put it on. I crouched low, acting as if I was doing something important. If I acted causually, he wouldn't notice that I was not wearing any clothes. If all goes as plannned, he would take me as another worker scearching for misplaced papers and leave me alone, even though it IS his room. 
He opened the door. It was a man dressed in white, with short cut hair, and glasses. There I crouched, going through papers and he looked at me. His attention at my face, a casual surprise. His eyes never wandered from me face.
"Why are you not wearing any clothes?" He asked, a hint of anger in his voice. A flare of suspicion passed his eyes. I tried to figure out a way out of this as I watched an understanding of who I was grow in his eyes.
Damn, I was so sure I could have fooled him.
I did not plan this out, and I had no escapse plan for this. I was so sure I would be able to escape in time. He backed up slowly. He called for other employees and security.
A female, she was with me in the other room, she managed to escape. She ran down the hallway holding an axe, pushing through confused scientists in white. A look of panic was upon her face as she ran to me. They had not stripped her of her clothing yet.
She shut the door and we pushed the table to block the door from opening.
We grinned at each other in relief.
We searched the room for an availble escape vent. Most of them were fake. I kicked all of the heater and AC vents in, and none of them were attached to the wall. Then I remembered the one that I had first come to. We took the heater device off of the vent and I went to crawl through first. It was too small. Have we grown so much in so little time that we could not get through the vent that I was sure we could get through a few moments ago?
I stood bewildered for a moment, and then continued rushing to find other vents, surely there must be one that is real. As I was getting myself off the table, a man with brown hair that grew down to his ears, bangs split in half, and he had the thick facial hair you get when you don't shave for a few days. He squeezed himself through the door and shut it. Locked. His eyes flickered to her, since she closest to him. She raised the axe and before it hit him, he took her neck in the bend of his elbow and turned sharply around so he can see me.
He slowly added more pressure to his hold. He curved his spine, holding her up by only her neck, her feet lifting off the ground several feet. She dropped the axe and her hands went to pull at his arm, nails digging in deep.
I knew I could not provide enough force to knock him off balance. If I hit him, anywhere, he would not do so much as flinch. I knew that and he knew that. He turned his attention away from me as he heard guards running down the hallway and shouting. 
No choice. I took the axe and wacked it at his spine. He fell and I stood over him.
His eyes were closed, face in pain, but he was still moving. His thorat convulsed, threating to scream. 
He reached for me with his right hand. I threw the axe at his fingers, his eyes open, I cut down his hand and up his arm. He looked at me in rage, telling me that he's going to kill me no matter what it takes. He reached for me with his other hand, I hacked at it, I cut down his arm piece by piece, slicing him into thick pieces of salami. No blood, (as usual with my dreams) and he was still conscious and screaming. I hacked at his neck, and did the same to it as I did with his arms. I did it because in his state of blind rage, he would have still gone after me with stubs, or teeth.
Then, he laid silently. There was no movement in his chest and I was sure he had died. 
I looked back up at her. She wasn't disgusted, she wasn't scared, just relieved.
I sat down next to this man I had just hacked up. She went to find a way out again.
Then his chest moved, up and down.
I watched him breathe, he was healing.
Eventually he opened his eyes and looked at me. I was still holding the axe but I wasn't thinking about putting him back down to the floor, just curious. He looked a little pale, maybe it was because he just died. I watched him sit up, his arms and neck were connected again, but where I had sliced him, gapped, showing lines of dark red.
I don't remember much of what was said or if anything was said. I just remember we reacted to each other's energies to the point of where it had built up so much we could probably have walked on it. 
Then he left the room to deal with people. He came back and said something to the female, apparently no one was after us anymore. I don't know what he said or what he had done but apparently, we are all safe now. She left the room. He closed door and we had the room to ourselves. The energy grew again and I was ready to screw some guy I had just chopped up moments ago. He touched my arm and brought me closer to him as he leaned back against the table. His anatomy looked different, but very familiar, and he was not wearing what he had wore a few minutes ago. He wore a sleeveless black jacket, black pants and black boots. His skin color was pale, not the natural tan he had when he came in wanting to kill me in. And his hair was dark and stuck up in all directions. We moved closer to each other, almost close enough to kiss. I awoke.


I'm suspecting Kikaider took over his body at the moment I had killed the man who was in blind rage. And when Kikaider took over, he began to healed very quickly. I had slept with Kikaider at my head this afternoon, and I awoke with his right boot touching my forehead. His left arm had come off from the shoulder. I am very sure I had not touched him at all (except his right boot). Even Noodles told me I had barely moved at all in my sleep. 


I think it's pretty neat.

2010 August 28 Saturday -Dream Entry-

The hallways led to a three path fork to stairs or hallways, your choice depending on where you want to go, those stairs and hallways either led you up or down to more stairs and hallways. There is nothing on the creamy white walls, no paintings, no diplomas, nothing. I've been here for a while now, so I know how to get around places like this. Inside buildings are always like this in my dreams, so I remember how to get around. I've figured out the rule in my dream for inside buildings, never go back and never look back, you will instantly forget where you are the spaces around you will shift and you will have to relearn another pattern.


I went to the bottom of the building, which is a few levels beneath the ground. There, there was less light, and the walls were bathroom tiles, some sort of vomit green color. Anything can happen here, rape, murder, bombs, villians that didn't bother me because they recognize my type. I've seen and remember them all. I went down here to look for a professor. I saw him in his room doorway, high black pants, bald top with hair on the sides, pushed up nose, white dress shirt, hairy hands, blackbrown dress shoes, eyes slanted upwards, double chin unseen unless his head comes down from being stuck up. He saw me and went back in his room, door closed.


Well, I guess I'll find someone else.


I went to the very top of the building, the balcony, that is where my trainning for the coast guard takes place.


We had to swim 100 meters to pass the test. It looked like a mile. The pool was an uneven color, polluted and tainted.


I was not dressed for swimming yet because I had to put away some things, it was important government materials, I couldn't leave it out on the seats like people do with their towels and cell phones. I told Jazz this and she said I should talk to Mr. Crepsley, our instructor. We went to the office box where they had the lockers and keeps our files on our physicall abilities. Mr. Crepsley was not there, or on the balcony area.


As Jazz was asking people where Mr. Crepsley is, I noticed at the doorway stood Albert, head leveled, eyes looking downwards. I was pissed at him, and he knew it, but he's playing that notice-me-i'm-feeling-bad game he does very often. As usual I did the opposite, sytomns of clauterphobia was building, I was having trouble breathing, Albert's aura was crushing me. I walked out of the office building. 


We were riding on some animal that didn't have heads or tails. Jazz, me and Albert who had happened to follow us. I was still not talking or giving notice to his existance.


Along the way of looking for Mr. Crepsley, Jazz had pricked herself with something she had found, something of my belonging, it was a needle attached to a dark blue rubber holder at one side, the tip of the needle had a housing, it was a rubber purple heart. I had been searched many areas and buildings for that. She's infected, she can become a mindless demon at any minute. I was ranting about something to Albert, until I noticed Jazz stopped moving and breathing. Her eyes are closed and she laid her head against the animal. I took her off of it and did CPR. I wasn't sure how long gone she was. Some black guy dressed in a dark blue jacket and black pants hopped over a wall and saw us. He pointed out that her cheeks were getting color again. I kept at it until she started breathing on her own again.


The trainnee took the needle from Jazz and ran off, free-running on wall to wall until her got on top of a two story building. He shouted down at me, "Thanks for the help!", and dissappeared passed the edge of the building. He knew what had happened, he had been following me the whole time! Damn him!


I looked back at Jazz who was talking to Albert about something, they left the area, Jazz was going back. I stood in the area, looking for things I may have dropped. Suddenly, the sun reflected something on the floor, which shined brightly at me, as if it was calling for me. I went to it and picked it up. It was the needle! That idoit dropped it! I took it stabbed the needle into the small rubber purple heart holder a few times (as if i was stiching it into the heart) accidentally pricking myself several times and held it so no one can see that I had it. I felt the needle digging into me through the rubber.


I turned and almost bumped into Albert. I walked passed him to find my animal that was following Jazz (the three animals are tied together by a brown leather rope). Yeah, I'm still pissed off at him. 
The black guy sat in a slouching manner on top of the roof watching us. I threw daggers at him with my eyes and he explained to me he was still here because he wanted to evasdrop on any import information we may be having. He got up and left for the second time. I doubt he had really left.


Jazz had halfway turned into a monster. She was no longer on the animal but was going after the black guy.


I put my hand against a white brick wall for balance. My vision was getting distorted. Everything was shifting, I was having trouble finding the ground. I saw at the corner of my eye that the black guy was comming after me. I pulled myself up onto the top of the wall, slamming my bag against the wall a few times as I stuggled to get upwards, I sat on the top. Albert was already there. He did nothing but watch me. I ignored him. I waited for a monsterous effect to take it. I was already feeling vicious, wanting, craving violence. I looked back at the black man. He must have seen what was happening because he started to run away, Jazz blocked him. They fought again. I was wondering if anyone else was watching this and who it was, will they spread rumors? Will I have to kill them so they wouldn't cause me problems? I was shapeshifting into a larger form. I am still conscious. I will not lose control. I WILL NOT LOSE CONTROL. I awoke staring into my lamp. The bright light blinding me.

2010 August 26 Thursday -Dream Entry-

People were being placed in different rooms to be experimented on. Most of these guys didn't even know what they were getting themselves into, I did, but I didn't say anything to them. It's not like they're going to believe me anyway.


I watched the group of people watching a pair of people enter the silver misshapen elevator and to go forget themselves. They didn't know what to expect, they didn't know what was going on within those rooms up there, I didn't care to tell them. The higher you go on the elevator, the more dangerous. If you were lucky, you were placed at bottom.


I went into the elevator with a group, I'm not part of this madness, I'm not part of this new recruits business, my section is way passed the top of this building. My job here, is to find out if anything that shouldn't be happening is happening here. Anything out of the ordinary, anything out of the ordinary in this places like this. This is actually only one of the many branches people taken mislead into.


I went back onto the elevator after noting some things in my head about this place, and eventually, instead of standing, I found myself walking up the dirt from inside a cave. I came up from the underground hideout. There were government workers of all types in there, our group was less than twenty persons.


The sky was a black-purple (not purple-black), the land was brown, nothing but dirt, thin black trees, rocks of all sizes, geometric mountains, volcanoes that haven't erupted since the dinosaur ages.


There is an ocean that cuts us apart from our enemies. Their land is close to ours, if we took a boat, it'll take us only a few hours to get there. We've only been on this place for a few weeks. I looked across the ocean to the other land. I saw a smoke, an explosion shaped into a devious phoenix. The creatures on the other island were running, panicking. Two other people came and stood watching it with me; my sister, and another woman, I can't remember who, but I know I've just recently met her in this dream. I searched the land and saw lava flowing out of their volcanoes, that's natural for their land, it's still alive, unlike this one we're on. My heart started to race as I watched the phoenix, I don't know why I was panicking already, but I remember this feeling, something horrible is going to happen. I turned my attention to look at the two. They watched the smoke without logic, without thinking where it was coming from. I said the volcanoes there have erupted.


No, I haven't gone through space to another planet, this is still Earth. 


Then I noticed, the volcano on the right side of me is slowly starting to boil. I said out loud to anyone who could hear me, "We have to leave, now". I grabbed my sister, who was very stubborn and reluctant on moving because she wasn't done looking at the volcanoes erupting on the other side. What I could have done was leave her behind to burn. We ran.


We ran as fast as we could, the other woman and a few other people were running behind us, running past bursting volcanoes. We were heading back underground.


The creatures of that left the other island earlier to come after us were here, blocking the entrance into the cave that led underground. This only means our entire group down there is dead or is still alive and is enduring torture. The creatures were all shades of black, hair 1x1 inch tubes (maybe bigger), the bottom half of their face showed bone and teeth, their skin naturally never covered that area of their face, they stood nine feet and taller, nothing but muscles, their posture and appearance showed that they wanted and cared more about our death than the erupting volcanoes behind them. Like being strapped to a bomb and you'll take anyone you couldn't care less about with you.


There is no reasoning with these creatures. They hate humans and dealings are nonsense. My plan was to abruptly push my way through them to get into the cave, so I can get some time and blow the place up.


I awoke.


Since my dreams are slowly manifesting into this physically plane, I'm sure this is a sign that aliens will walk amongst us soon. Yeah, big surprise.

2010 August 09 Monday -Dream Entry-

I escaped from a jail house, and met up with other people that had escaped too. We were carpooling in some strange looking jeep. There was a place next to the cemetery that sold flowers in a different type of vending machine. I wanted to get some for Valkyr. The ones I picked were clear and jello texure. On my walk back to the jeep they started falling apart. We were back on the freeway and all that was left of the flowers were stems.

2010 August 08 Sunday -Dream Entry-

An image appeared in my hallusination. A long transparent red shade of puzzle pieces. Later, outside in the black night sky, puzzle pieces just like that were in the clouds, flying by quickly. Then other and shapes formed and disappeared quickly by. Puzzles that were so complicated it was hard to put even one piece together.

The sidewalk was perfect, the color was light, like a new sidewalk with age.

There was a house that looked like it was hand built by a disabled little kid. Inside, there were no lights, I in sleeping bag, tired. I was a boy with a just shaven head. A few moles on my head. Freddy Krueger was my teacher. He laid down, on his sleeping bag on my left, before we even got any sleep, he got up and said, "time to get up".

A narrow, twisted brick road in the middle of a forest, with a dip in the middle had red and blue markings on the each side to tell the level of water and where it ends (yes, this road holds water). Fighting right over the river was Freddy's favorite place to duel. He wore a black cloak this time, black wavy hair to shoulders. Face shaven a few days before.