Coffee and a Blood Craving

It's 5:01AM... I still haven't slept. I am physically and mentally tired.

Yesterday evening at 5:00PM I went to a "Marketing Research" workshop at SCORE that cost forty bucks and lasted three hours. At 7:00PM I was so dehydrated, I got hot and started having trouble breathing, so I drank what they had to offer, coffee. I didn't want to drink it because nothing good as ever come from it except that it tasted good while it was hot. I also haven't had that in a long time.
7:00PM - I drank the thing.
7:10PM - I had trouble answering people's questions.
7:20PM - I no longer comprehended the human language.
8:00PM - Physical exhaustion kicked me in the face.
9:00PM - So very tired.
10:00PM - So very sleepy, but I was focused on creating a character for my new story I'm working on that I am taking very seriously.
11:00PM - No longer tired. Mental quickness.
11:30PM - I started typing elaborate replies to people on slipknot1.
12:00AM - Mental alertness and quickness.
12:30AM - Reading.
1:00AM - Still reading stuff.
1:30AM - Reading and poking at things.
3:31AM - I typed up twenty elaborate replies and then got off slipknot1.
4:30AM - I think the caffeine died when I used the restroom..
5:00AM - My vision is a blur.

I had fours hours of sleep because I've set myself up to mentally wake up at exactly 9:30 every morning.

It is currently 6:49PM. I have no appetite. This is the third day in a row. My sister even set down a coffee biscuit next to my cup of coffee and it didn't appeal to me. When was the last time I've rejected sweets? Well, this is good for the trip, I wouldn't have to pack much food for the train ride over and I wouldn't have to buy much food for the stay.

I have a horrible need, to cut huge gashes into my body with something thick and sharp. It bugs me, like an itch. I've been trying to solve this some other way, but there aren't any real masochists within reach. I need to see, smell and feel the pain. This need is way more overwhelming than anything I've ever craved.