The Rebirth Experiment

Today, here, and now, I will restart. To see this life from a different view, different perspective, and maybe the color green would be purple.

My, assumption on what will happen to me (Yay! A hypothesis!) is, my flashes (aka visions, projections, etc.) will be nonstop. Or maybe this perspective now will stay for a few moments and then flashes, though, maybe, I might be able to comprehend what people are saying to me, if theyareconversing to/with me.

My goal in this, uh, experiment... mental rebirth. Yeah, a mental rebirth experiment. (Hah, why didn't I think of doing this for my middle school science project?). I am tired. I am tired of being depressed. I am tired of being angry. I am tired of being frustrated. And I am tired of being tired. I'm sure there are other ways of obtaining happiness and estacy, but I want to do this my way. I'm tired of searching for someone to show me the answer. I think, that all my waiting, and searching may have been a mistake, a waste of time. I've became so dependent on, needing to learn from someone, that I had forgotten that I hadn't really learned anything from my original teacher, I've obtained most of what I have learned on my own. I just needed someone to pressure me to do it I guess. I guess this is a confession to myself that I have to type out and let everyone read because I'm too lazy to go back and delete this. Nothing like talking to yourself, huh? Anyways, eighteen years of mental paranoia (yes, even when I was a kid, I was paranoid, maybe I was a master thief in my earlier life somewhere, or a bomb maker/dissembler), and suffering of all types, I am ready for a rebirth. A manual mental rebirth. MMR. Maybe I'll be the famous crazy person one day.

I may go through this process alone because no one I know is devoted enough to go through it with me. Except maybe you, Alberto, whom may be reading this too late, too late to save me from an accidental insanity, too late to retrieve me back when (IF) I go too far.

You're probably wondering how I am going to go about this. I honestly don't know. I don't like to plan things out, because it's always causes disappointments in the end. But I will keep you curious weirdos who are still here reading this updated.

If you are going to check up on me, I would like to thank you for you interest. And give me feedback, and leave a comment on your thoughts on this. I'm only asking because I want to know. I'll ask you your birthdate because I'm curious about how the planets are going to affect you, not because I like you and plan to get you something for your birthday. I'll ask you for your favorite fruit or color because I'm interested in knowing what interests you, not because I want to buy you fruit or your favorite color. So please don't misunderstand. Also know, I am not interested dating you unless you're EAP and I'm not interested in getting a room so you can fulfill your daily needs. But do tell me, what you like and dislike and what's in your backpack and pockets. Why you ask, because it tells me interesting things about you and you most likely won't tell me.

My head hurts. Did I mention I have exploding head syndrome? It has been occurring more often, almost every hour now, this started two or three days ago, actually, earlier this week, just slowly occurring more often... No, I do not enjoy exploding head syndrome, and I wish for it to stop. I actually don't know what causes it and should probably look this up... Also, I have been experiencing earthquakes, but no one else seems to notice them. Is this some sort of mental or physical condition I'm having? I have a phobia of earthquakes... And experiencing them a few times a day isn't helping.

One more thing before I bid you adieu, I've been having bothersome migraines and headaches lately, perhaps it's my posture that is affecting it... Most probably. Any other reason, I can not define at the moment.

Good morning.