Forced Projection

I went to sleep sometime between four and six in the morning. I woke up passed one in the afternoon. My energy was fine, it was normal, and then five in the afternoon came and I was so drainned I could have blacked out anywhere.

I removed myself from the couch and relocated myself in the bedroom. I laid down on my stomach and saw my body and the room in a dark shade. I breathed. I am not going to project. I need to sleep, not project. I breathed again. I was going to project. I forced myself to sit up and I was out of my body. Dammit. I forced myself back in. Remember what it felt like to have a body, that heaviness, that shell, that restricted perception. I closed my eyes and fell into my body. I breathed. I awoke. I sat up. Things were brighter, everything was touchable... But I had moved deeper into the layers. Frustrated. I want to go to sleep. I am way too tired for this.

I woke. I sat up and repositioned myself. I breathed. I project out. Even deeper in the layers. It's getting harder to go back.

I don't remember much, because I didn't want to remember. I just have residues of whatever memory is left of the hell hole I've fallen in, demonic toys and how I could not wake from my body.

I groaned loudly, for long periods, hoping that he would be near enough to wake me. I awoke. He laid on the couch. There was a vibrating sound. He was getting off to the sounds of my struggle. I looked at him mad as hell. He should have woken me up. He only smiled at me, a "too bad" smile. I woke up again. Dammit. I looked around. Everything seemed touchable and real. But damn... I am not sure...