The Wakening (Day #01)

I didn't wake up on time, I was suppose to be at the train station at 4:10AM so I can get shipped to Emeryville and wait around for four hours for the train 6. I didn't wake up until five in the morning. On the drive to Emeryville I was rushed and frustrated, I felt like forgetting the entire trip (which I wasn't going to do, but at the time it felt really good thinking about it... Masochism at its worst).

I got to the train station at 7:00AM, sat around for two hours, then I hear that train 6 is delayed for one or two hours. Fine, that's okay. After two hours they said three. After three they said the train will be here at appoximately 1:30PM. Goodie.

Sitting around, not reading (though I've tried to pull a book out of my bag, but it didn't want to come out, so I got frustrated and left it there), looking around and avoiding eye contact (though it was hard since everyone is facing each other). Eventually everyone knew who was on train six since we were all sitting around fidgeting for six hours.

I got tired of looking at people and forcing myself not to pick personality traits, then I started looking at people's auras. The guy that I think that's been here since 5AM has a red line, yellow line under that, and a green line under that surrounding his aura. The green made me think he was sick even though he showed no signs or symptoyms. Hours later he started coughing.

Another man, he was friendly and reminded me of Steve. His aura was a healthy red and yellow, both medium-large in size.

Another man later sat down with a strange smile that meant nothing. I checked his, a brown-red, like rusty blood, yellow-red, a thin green line, medium yellow under that. Later he coughed a couple times, but only a couple.

I tried to check mine again, but again I had a rainbow. Everytime I've check it's a thin-medium rainbow... Actually no, it was very thin, now it's thin-medium! Hmmm!!

A lady whom was with her son to go to Reno, offered me a bakery biscuit her son made the night before. I refused, but she  insisted by grabbing a napkin and putting the box in front of my face. I grinned and took one. She said that she knew I was hungry. Some people make me want to cry.

The train came when I had come to the conclusion that it would never come. We all walked down a good block to get aboard, some part of the engine was blacking out smoke, it hit everyone and covered us all in a thick lovely scent of burning rubber.

The staffs here are really nice. I even thought about working here. The bathroom was a n ifty space shuttle, I have no idea where the flush button is, so I didn't flush, I tried though.

The train is currently going passed a swamp area that consists of nothing but swamps, grass and a couple of houses with boats every now and then.

I just saw on cow standing alone by itself in the middle of a grass field.

It's 3:00PM, I've had 3 triangle slices of one sandwich (there's one left in the baggy, I have another baggy and a box which constists of two sandwiches and tomatos), a tuna salad in a box and a couple bites of bunny pizza snack mix.

There's a louge downstairs where people talk (upstairs is the quiet area) and meet other people. I want to go, but I think I'm just being lazy because I'm making up excuses for myself. I don't want to tell people about myself, it's uncomfortable and I'm not used to it. But I like it when people talk.

I'm train sick... AHH!!! Motion-sickness!!!

I'll go to the louge sometime in the AM time... See what kind of weridos are awake.

It's now exactly 5:00PM. I just woke up. I took a nap somtime passed three. Last night I didn't sleep until 2AM, I had 3 hours of sleep. I got up because I thought we were going around a giant tree, which turned out to be just blocky-rocky mountains.

The space shuttle toliet is so nifty, I could take a shit and wash my face at the same time. Which I did.

The train has been swinging circles around mountains to Nevada. I want to stick my head out the window and take in the greens, carry it deep into my lungs.

I enjoy the many caves we have to go through. I keep expecting some dead guy to slam onto my window.

I'm picking at the scab.

It's 6:15PM. I'm getting thirsty. I am thinking of bolting out the train and run as fast as I can to get some orange juice or if I'm lucky, carrot juice.

I'm done picking at the scab. It takes a lot of willpower to not go at it until the entire thing comes off and bleed everywhere.

The middle right side of my chest itchs. If I rub or scratch, the camera that is to my right will think I'm a pervert.

Okay, I did it, I reached into my shirt from the top and casually scratched.

6:29PM. I want to smoke.

I couldn't find the damn snack bar. I'm wearing a black sweater with silver buttons, over a black and white striped dress over stockings and combat boots. A man stopped me, "Excuse me, where are you going?" I couldn't help but be slightly offended. I guess my clothes aren't expensive enough for barging into 1st class.

My armpits are allergic to its own armpit sweat.

There is no internet.

What's the point of haivng apple sause if you didn't bring a spoon?

I hate touchphones.

I'm drinking milk in a box.

I have been having a war against myself and my pride not to smoke. If I smoke, I'll look like a regulat idoit who thinks it makes them cool, tough or rebellous. No! I just want to smok just like how a kid wants candy! Ciggerates are candy to me! Instead of cavities you get tar!

I would brush my teeth but I don't think I want train water in my mouth.

The lounge sucks by the way. I'm not even going to try again. Nothing but rich people or people with jobs they will keep blabbing about.

I took off my boots so I would be less likely to get up to smoke at the next smoke stop.

As soon as I turn 21, I am going to stock up on Jack. I will sit outside, no, I will stand inside the liquor store, with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a watch in the other and I will stand in front of the cashier while we count the seconds to the 13th and I will but it at exactly 12:00AM.

I know I'm going to be an alcholic for a good two years. I know it.

When I'm sober, I question myself, I hold back, I weigh out the pros and cons and I take fucking forever to make a decision. When I'm drunk I am more myself.

I'm now traveling mountain time, one hour ahead.

I want tot turn the reading lights on, but I don't know which button it is! I don't want to press the wrong one and set off some alarm! GAHH!!!

It's 9:30PM, but mountain time it's 10:30PM. I have to go through two more hours.

I guess I'll try to sleep.

I could really go for a burger with onions,